Adventures in Cheese Snob Land

I will be in France for a month. I will be taking photos and writing and all that jazz. You can check it all out at http://blog.vcu.edu/stoddardcs2/

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Vacation Notice

I will be in France from June 29 to August 1. During this time, I will not have the chance to regularly update my blogs or submit to other publications as usual. However, I do encourage you to check out my French travel blog as I document my voyage! Please visit http://blog.vcu.edu/stoddardcs2/ for my writing and photos.

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Movie Review, Short Story, Comic, etc.

*I recently published a movie review of Quinceañera (2006). The independent film won several awards and rightfully so, but my opinion of it is not completely favorable. Read it on my Associated Content page by clicking here or read it on my art news/criticism blog, Artcadia Cafe.

*I added another entry to my current fashion writing and photography project, "The Summer of Sandals." Read it at my alternative fashion blog, Give Me Paisley and Parasols, or here on my Associated Content page.

*My latest short story is done! It's called "The Turtle that Turned into a Little Girl" and revolves around a successful Washington business woman who visits a Buddhist monastery. You can read it on my short story blog, my Associated Content page, my Facebook notes, or my Scribd page.

*I've added a new "Forget Fairytales" comic to the "Forget Fairytales" blog!

*Read my latest rant, "Become an Anglophile Today."

*If you are interested in participating in the 2010 Greater Washington Indie Arts Festival as an artist or volunteer, join our Facebook group. Learn more about it here.

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"The Summer of Sandals" and Two New "Forget Fairytales"

*Today I completed two new additions to my comics, "Forget Fairytales." Check them out at my "Forget Fairytales" blog, my Facebook page, or my Flickr page. Soon I will be selling prints, so start shopping for your favorites.

*I am updating my latest fashion writing project, "The Summer of Sandals," tonight. Read my most recent commentary at Give Me Paisley and Parasols. You can also view past entries and other fashion projects on my Associated Content page.

*My teen romance novella, Ralphie Tastes Like Mango, is now available for purchase on my Scribd page. I sincerely appreciate the business.

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New Collages and YouTube Additions

*I have finished another one of my collages,"Studies in Natural Selection." You can view it on my blog Christine and Collage or on my Flickr page. Studying biology this summer influenced me to create it.

*My fellow actors, Thomas Neff and Jon Nardolilli, and I are finished performing Steven Traubert's "Pusher." The first performance, which my father Mark Stoddard shot at the 2009 Neo-Indie Arts Festival, is now available on my YouTube page. Thanks to everyone who made this two-show production possible!

*I finished yet another collage today, called "To the Whitewash Bubbles." It was inspired by a poem I wrote by the same title, which you can read here. You can view the collage on my blog Christine and Collage or on my Flickr page.

*I added the first entry to my latest autobiographical fashion writing project, "The Summer of Sandals." Check it out by visiting my fashion blog, Give Me Paisley and Parasols.

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NIAF Photos and "The Prom Dragon"

*I just finished my latest collage "The Prom Dragon," which started out as a prose piece. (You can read the original prose piece here.) The collage consists of a photograph I actually took at Grinnell College during my first and only year there. It also features one of my drawings of a dragon I used in my "Forget Fairytales" comic series, which I colored on Photoshop.

*I recently completed my first assignment as Lifestyle Category Editor for Associated Content. I had to choose feature articles and video for the "Home Improvement" section. You can view my new profile badge here.

*Please read the introduction to my latest autobiographical fashion writing project, "The Summer of Sandals," at my fashion blog, Give Me Paisley and Parasols. Do so by clicking here.

*View photos of the 2009 Neo-Indie Arts Festival (http://neoindieartsfestival.blogspot.com) I organized here. All photos were generously taken and provided by Patrick O'Connor.

*I will be performing the second and final show of Steven Traubert's "Pusher" this weekend in Richmond, VA. The play is free and open to the public. Come check it out at 7 p.m. on June 20 at an art studio on 211 W. 7th St. (Manchester area.) Sophia Nelson will also be showing her photography there.

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ICG Scholarship...and more!

*I just won the 2009 International Cinematographers' Guild scholarship! I submitted a few essays, answers to short questions, a transcript, a teacher recommendation, and short stories. Thanks to everyone who helped make this possible.

*I wrote a new poem called, "Apocalyptic Conversations with Flies." You can read it on my Associated Content page or my poetry blog, 24 Hour Poetry.

*To the Bone, a new literary & arts print and online journal based in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, has requested that I submit visual art for their second issue. I sent them a piece from a new collection of art I'm making called Chapter Two, which features mixed media art that combines word and image. To the Bone staff are printing a few of my poems in their first issue.

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The Latest in My Career

*I am very happy to announce that a new literary magazine, To the Bone, based in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, will be publishing some of my poems. They have both a print and online addition (ToTheBone.net), so be sure to check them out. Their official launch party and reading will be in July, but, unfortunately, I will be unable to attend because I'll be out of the country.

*I recently created The Dragon Lovers Society on Ning, which features some of my old and new dragon art and writing. By the end of the summer, I hope to include my video, "Insta-Dragon." Check out the new group by clicking here. 

*I have a new poem, called, "A Dusty Central Park," on my Associated Content page. You can read it here. I will also be adding it to my 24 Hour Poetry blog.

*Read the latest "Forget Fairytales" by clicking here.

*I have updated my LinkedIn online resume. If you are looking to hire me for a writing, editing, acting, comics, or collage project, please read it by clicking here.

*I just joined the Shirlington Public Library Poetry Forum; Shirlington is the "hippest" library in Arlington, with local art, poetry workshops, and more. Check out the forum by clicking here. 

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More from the fashion and fairytale front

*I finally had a chance to upload many of the photos that Richmond photographer Michael Spanel took of me posing as Mademoiselle Alouette, one of my fictional characters. The pictures are both on my Flickr page and Facebook page. You can order all of the photos by sending me an email. There are several hundred in total. I plan to write a few pieces about my character, Mademoiselle Alouette, soon so check back for updates. I'm sure short stories and poetry will follow!

*I uploaded new "Forget Fairytale" comics today. Check them out by visiting the "Forget Fairytales" blog, my Facebook page, or my Associated Content page. 

*Sadly, I have to end my latest fashion writing and photography project, "Labs and Leggings." There aren't enough well-dressed girls in my summer biology class. Check out my fashion blog, Give Me Paisley and Parasols, at www.paisleyandparasols.com for my newest project.

*I just wrote a humorous piece called "If I Taught Biology." Find out how I would run my own introductory bio class!

*You should read my humor piece, "Under Contract," about a mother's love for her child. It'll surprise you, I swear.

*Apparently you can now sell writing on Scribd.com. I just uploaded a driver's improvement education curriculum. It runs 66 pages and includes plenty of information about driving, as well as teacher's notes if you plan to teach a class. You can buy it here.

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Yes, another post

I realize that this is the second entry of the day, but I'm doing A LOT and A LOT is...doing to me? Ha.

*I just finished another autobiographical piece. It's called, "Adventures in my Purse." Part fashion, part random commentary, I sort of mix in tidbits of my life by describing what's in my fat purse.

*I wrote a how-to article called, "How to Establish a Community-based Arts Festival." Check it out on my eHow page.

*Associated Content, a media content and information website and distributor, just offered me a position on their Advisory Committee. I've accepted and am eager to begin. You can check out my Associated Content page here.

*Michael Spanel, a Richmond-based photographer, finished editing photographs of me dressed up as Mademoiselle Alouette. Mademoiselle Alouette is one of my fictional characters. All actors should have an act--Mademoiselle Alouette is one of mine. You can view a few of the photos on my Flickr page by clicking here.

*I visited New York City last weekend and have finally finished editing my photos from the trip. I've put them into an album called "The Navel of the Universe." It's also available on my Flickr page, but you can check it out here, too.

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News! News! News!

*I want to thank everyone who supported the 2009 Neo-Indie Arts Festival in any way. I really appreciate it. We had a fun time! I am currently looking for volunteers and interns for next year's festival--email me at stoddard.christine@gmail.com if you're interested.

*I have new collages, part of what I'm describing as a new chapter in my 'career.' I promise to elaborate upon this chapter soon. Expect an essay. In the meantime, check the collages out at http://christineandcollage.blogspot.com or on my Flickr page.

*You can now go directly to my Facebook page, where I publish a lot of my art and writing, by typing www.facebook.com/christinestoddard. 

*My latest piece of satire, "Under Contract," is now available on my Associated Content page.

*If you ever wondered what I think about as I watch other patrons in the library, now you can now. Read my latest essay, "Questions in the Library."

*There's only one more week to go on my latest fashion writing and photography project, "Labs and Leggings." If you haven't check it out yet, go to my fashion blog, Give Me Paisley and Parasols.

*Amendment, the literary & art journal for social change at Virginia Commonwealth University wants to publish two of my essays! One is about Toni Morrison's novel, Sula, and the other is on a classic Russian film, "Bed and Sofa." They've expressed interest in some of my other writing, too. The journal comes out in the fall, so I will tell you what they ultimately decide.

*My two latest poems are "Love is in the Stars," which I included in a recent collage by the same title, and "You're Wishing on a Star I Don't See."

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TODAY: 2009 NIAF

The 2009 Neo-Indie Arts Festival is today, June 13! WANNA SHOWCASE YOUR TALENT? Show up at TJ Community Center (3501 2nd St. S., Arlington, VA) @ 5 p.m. to register for free. WANNA VOLUNTEER? Show up at TJ Community Center (3501 2nd St. S., Arlington, VA) @ 4:30 p.m. We appreciate it! WANNA CHECK IT OUT? Show up at TJ Community Center (3501 2nd St. S., Arlington, VA) b/w 6:30 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Free admission. Film*Theatre*Music*Photography*Visual Art*Poetry*More Questions? Email Christine Stoddard at stoddard.christine@gmail.com http://neoindieartsfestival.blogspot.com

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New Writing

Whenever you want to read my latest, publicly released writing, I suggest visiting my Associated Content Page. What have I published most recently? I wrote a piece reflecting about the age of celebrity and how I fit into it, called "How Should I Feel about Fan Mail?" I wrote an easy-to-understand summary of what research scientists at a German anthropological institute have achieved with the FOXP2 gene. It's titled "Talking Mice Help Scientists Delve into the Makings of Human Language." I also wrote a very straight-forward five-step plan for achieving a nice complexion, called "How to Get a Beautiful, Glowing Complexion...without Acting Like a Glamazon." Lastly is a piece called "Welcome to Community College," which explains how my experiences as a dual-enrollment high school student at Northern Virginia Community College prepared me for the 'real world.' I'll have more published later tonight!

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"Co-worker Abuse" on YouTube

*"Co-worker Abuse," my latest work with director Angelo Mike is now officially on my YouTube page! I'm gradually building up the page over the year and hope to have 100 videos on it by the end of 2010. Of course, a lot of the work I make can and should not go up on Youtube, either because it's too big or just not appropriate for it. No, not in the sense that I'm making "obscene" films, but just in the sense that I would feel as if I'm devaluing my films by putting them up there. Yeah, art snob talk. It's the writer in me.

*I just finished my latest "Forget Fairytales" comic. You can check it out here.

*Sadly, I have not finished writing my latest short story, "China Doll in a Tutu." It will just have to wait until after the Neo-Indie Arts Festival I'm coordinating. I promise to inform you as soon as I post it online.

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Release of "Co-worker Abuse"

I've worked with Angelo Mike, a young Arlington director, before. I first stumbled across him on Craigslist. He had posted an ad requesting actors for a comedy skit; I responded, went to the shoot, and the result was "Kentucky Terrorism Preparedness." More recently, I interviewed Angelo for a series I did on emerging talent in Virginia. You can read that interview here. Between those two events, however, Angelo wrote a script for a skit in which my sisters Helen and Nina participated with me. Helen acted as my co-worker while Nina did the camera work. The video is called "Co-Worker Abuse." Angelo released it today and I plan to show it at the 2009 Neo-Indie Arts Festival this weekend, along with several other movies.

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New T-shirts and NIAF News

*I am gradually building up my Zazzle inventory, which will include T-shirts, baseball caps, buttons, tote bags, and more. All of the items feature my original art and/or writing. Please stop by my growing store today by clicking here. Thanks for supporting the arts!

*I have just created an internship position for the 2010 Neo-Indie Arts Festival. If you are interested in learning more about it, please click here. I promise that it will be a wonderful opportunity for all young artists who intend to pursue a career in the D.C. and/or Richmond markets. I will be accepting applications until August 20.

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Resurrection of "Eleven Weeks of Eclectic Elegance"

Some readers are already familiar with my previous fashion writing project, "Eleven Weeks of Eclectic Elegance." For those who are not, I'll catch you up: I documented what I wore (almost) everyday to my internship at Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive during the summer of 2008. My sister, Helen Stoddard, took photos of me everyday. Then I posted the writing and accompanying photos on various online venues. For those of you who did not catch this project last year, I have resurrected it. Now you can read it and see the photos as they were meant to be seen. Thanks to Examiner.com designating me as their D.C. Thrifty Fashion writer, I have the perfect venue for it. You can check out "Eleven Weeks of Eclectic Elegance" by clicking here. You may also be interested in my fashion blog, Give Me Paisley and Parasols. Currently I am writing about what the various students in my biology class wear. For more of writing--fashion, short stories, poetry, restaurant reviews, and much more--visit my Associated Content and Scribd.com pages.

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Updated Resume and Additional Comics

I've finally updated my LinkedIn.com resume, so you can learn more about what I've done and some of my current professional goals as a writer and interdisciplinary artist. If you are interested in hiring me, I take a variety of creative commissions, including but not limited to:

writing short stories, writing course curriculum/syllabi, writing reviews, writing news articles, writing op-ed pieces, writing speeches, writing scripts, writing poetry, writing/illustrating comics, acting, designing greeting cards, making collages, designing T-shirts, designing CD covers/posters, editing digital photos, editing/critiquing writing (including research papers), voice-over, and tutoring grammar/writing.

Also today, I've added two new "Forget Fairytale" comics to my series. Please check them out by clicking here.

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Two new comics, a collage, and a short story

So apart from working on the 2009 Neo-Indie Arts Festival, I created two new comics and a collage, and wrote a lot this weekend. The two comics are #38 and #39 of "Forget Fairytales," my series that pokes fun at typical conceptions of dragons, unicorns, and other mystical creatures. The comic ran in Virginia Commonwealth University's student newspaper, The Commonwealth Times, and two were published in Christina Marie Wright's Gonzo Parenting. I plan to have at least 100 of them finished by the end of the year. You may also be interested in my latest collage, my most recent since May 6, 2009, called "Map Your Dreams." It consists of a digitally re-done scanning of lace, my ink drawing of a tree, and some Photoshop work. You can see it and other collages at http://christineandcollage.blogspot.com. In terms of writing, I finished my poem "My Jenny Went to CA to Become an Actress" and am currently writing a short story entitled, "China Doll in a Tutu," which I hope to have done by Tuesday evening. Also check out my latest restaurant review (Amsterdam Falafel in Adams Morgan, Washington, D.C.), which I initially wrote for Change Up magazine, and my updated Examiner.com fashion commentary page, which I'll be adding to for the rest of the summer.

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The 2009 Neo-Indie Arts Festival is one week from tomorrow!

For the second year in a row, I'm hosting the Neo-Indie Arts Festival; it's taking place on June 13--eight days from now! If you're interested in participating, or at least coming, visit http://neoindieartsfestival.blogspot.com for more information.

You might always want to check out my newest comics at http://forgetfairytales.blogspot.com. I have a big backlog on my Associated Content page, so you can expect a bunch of stories to get published next week. My most recent poem there is "My Jenny Went to CA to Become an Actress." Enjoy!

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Comic 36

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"Labs and Leggings" and "Ugali"

* I just added a new entry to my latest fashion project, "Labs and Leggings," where I write about fashion in my biology class. You can check out the project here.

*Here's my latest short story, "Ugali." You can read the rest on my Associated Content page.

"Just 'cause you're a Creative Writing minor doesn't mean you can write," Randall sneered. "Can you even spell 'recidivist'?" He crumpled his lip and threw down his pencil. Randall and I had attended the same school since pre-kindergarten and he was just as whiny then as he was now. I still believed he suffered from colic and possibly wore diapers that his mother changed right before his 9 p.m. bedtime. Talk about living in Eden's nursery garden.

Calm down, Casey, I told myself. Deliver your blows with composure. "Just because you're a Literary Criticism minor doesn't mean you can recognize quality writing. Oh, and to prove a point, R-E-C-I-D-I-V-I-S-T."

Randall always pouted instead of making come-backs, as if those azure eyes could salvage anything he said. He sniffed and started marking up my poem on Freud and biscotti. I narrowed my eyes at his trademark red pen, but quickly diverted my attention. Maybe I could write a poem about that brown splotch on the window. Randall would hate that more than a generic brand suit. He had written about the limousine his parents had recently scrapped. It ended with the less-than-sentimental "Good riddance."

"Really, Casey," Randal began again, now that he had recovered from his magenta blush, "You shouldn't have ended that sentence in a preposition." He pen stabbed the line.

"'Was' is not a preposition. It's a conjugation of the word 'to be.'"

He scoffed. "Please, you don't have to explain such base grammatical points to a former English major. I--"

"I thought you might have forgotten some of what you learned from your pre-Accounting major days, Randall." I snatched his pen away.

"Hey! That's a personalized executive pen, ya know! Sterling silver!"

I slipped the pen down my blouse, confident that Randall would never reach there. That guy didn't want me any more than I wanted him, which was about as much as I wanted an STD. Randall gritted his teeth, squeaking, "I was referring to that sentence." He pointed to the sentence above the one I thought he meant.

"Oh." Curses, I had ended the sentence with a preposition without any nerdy-sounding, literary B.S. justification. How would I save myself this time? "You see, I selected that specific sentence construction because--"

The answer arrived much too conveniently.

"Okay, everyone," Professor Oxley announced. "Peer editing's over. I want to quickly collect Week Eight's assignments. Make sure you have your name, the date, and course number written on your portfolio or commonplace book. Then put them in the basket right here next to my desk."

Randall shot up his hand to ask one of his typical goody-goody questions. That freed up my paper. I snatched it away, picked up my tote bag, and headed out the door. I had turned in my portfolio a week ago. Just as I reached the doorway, Randall began basking in Professor Oxley's attention and spewing out word for word what the man had said during his lecture, sort of like a Born Again prostitute beaming before a preacher. Performing proverbial lap-dancing, folks, is how you earn an A.

I knew the library would be open, so I wandered in that general direction. I needed to revise "Dolce Cioccolati," my now-slaughtered poem. Since nobody occupied a cubby in the far back corner, I plopped down my bag there. An industrial sized fan blared like a mutant insect. The library's excuse was that they were in the process of fixing the 1970s air-conditioning, which meant they could not run it. Lacking both headphones and earplugs, I had to endure the sound of a thousand flapping cicadas. Somehow it still wasn't as obnoxious as the sound of Randall's voice.

As I exchanged one word for another, revised syntax here and there, I thought about Randall, as much as I tried to avoid it. Whenever I wrote or read, I had to think about Randall. We taken writing and literature classes together since the days when the sky was green and the grass was blue. He wasn't a bad person and certainly not an evil one, even if he taunted random strangers with his keen spelling knowledge. Randall was simply annoying and unintentionally so. If I were the average American 19-year-old, I might blame his parents for creating an entitled snob of a young man, but I've always had more of a European streak. C'est la vie--et pas la culpibilité de ses parents. Randall could have resisted his parents coddling, he could have been as ornery as I was. Yet he smiled and dribbled and kicked his chubby Winnie the Pooh clad legs as he suffocated beneath the weight of his mother's breast. She would never wean him.

[Read the rest of the story here.]

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Anemone Sidecar and Rachel Radical

I'm pleased to announce that Anemone Sidecar has expressed interest in my poem, "Hallux." Hallux has also appeared in Poets' Espresso, a 'zine based in California, as well as a student project by Jane Sellman, an M.F.A. candidate at the University of Baltimore. You can read the poem here. I am also pleased to announce that the lovely Rachel Radical recently interviewed me about the 2009 Neo-Indie Arts Festival. You can read the piece here. It won't change your life but it should provide you with some more insight about my beliefs as an artist and why I do what I do.

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Greetings Sailor

"Greetings, Sailor"

By Christine Stoddard

Don't creak like a door in the night anymore, tired ocean traveler.

The Arab's little wife will lick away your strife, those quixotic tears 

streaming down your tender cheek and past your crooked beak

into the mounds of good food she prepared just for your arrival.

She knows the gentle art of flavoring; how to cook like a peasant

and eat like an Egyptian queen pleasantly plucking cotton blooms

beneath the dooming sun that fluttering palm leaves barely mask.

Rest your stained heels as she rubs the arches of your meaty feet

and you sink deeper and deeper into the throes of Saharan heat.

Dream that the sweet-eyed woman feels the same warmth for you

as the long strands of steam dancing from your plate into the air.

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